Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
