But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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