Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?

(516): View more from New York

one can only hope.

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(352): View more from Florida

I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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(250): View more from British Columbia

he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

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(954): View more from Florida

I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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(940): View more from Texas

Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd

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(317): View more from Indiana

did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail

(952): View more from Minnesota

Houston we have a problem

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