Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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