Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this just has baby written all over it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
