You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
