you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
