she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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