8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
