Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
