last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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