She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
