If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
