Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
