is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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