What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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