This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize