dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
