I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
