dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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