I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
