Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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