So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i think im in europe. pls send help
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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