my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
