No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
