Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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