Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
