well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
