Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
