Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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