My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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