he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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