he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just cropdusted the office
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will pee on everything he values.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
