I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
