Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
