Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
only if we run a train.
done.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
