3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
