when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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