I just saw a hot homeless man
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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