question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Enjoy the penises
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
