piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
