I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
