glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
where am i from again
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
