I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
