Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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