i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
