Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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