i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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