oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
