Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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