I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
